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Post-decisional regret

No sooner than booking my ticket I regretted it. I had checked only two airline websites. Although I had talked to my mom about it and slept on it for 24 hours, I still had some misgivings, which I went against.

My decision to fly more than 16 hours to the other side of this planet was instinctive. Yet I regretted not doing enough homework. I could have stopped in Bangkok to visit my friend. I could have flown via Singapore to stay with another friend.

While I doing my Saturday morning run, I suddenly noticed that spring had arrived. The first kilometre circled a flat area of wild, purple heather. The second kilometre took me into the woods, the tall barren trees that were just waking to the call of spring. As I jogged through the budding trees, I breathed in the clean, fresh air.

"I will miss all of this," I thought to myself.

The third kilometre involved jogging uphill into sandy dunes. I never knew such a beautiful area existed only minutes away from my home. The fourth kilometre took me to more hilly areas, and I started to notice a change in my breathing. One more kilometre to go, and already I was regretting having to skip the next two Saturdays.

Such isolated places in Taiwan do not exist for free public consumption. The places I will visit are man-made, far away from nature, and full of people. I will be surrounded by traffic, noise, pollution, and worst of all, clutter.

I will bring my laptop and my music. There will be a Kawai grand piano waiting for me. I hope I won't lose the momentum I've built in my writing. I hope I will still have the inspiration to continue, without the deterring effects of an intrusive environment.

So why was I so anxious to book my non-refundable round trip ticket to Taiwan?

To see my father.

To eat good food.

To attend my grandmother's funeral.

To see old friends and relatives.

People and food. All that matters.

Oh, and one more thing - to make important decisions that I won't regret.

9 April 2004 Friday

Related journal entries and links:
Fear of regret
Undo button
Fear of commitment
Personal decision making
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Anne Ku at Ilp in May 2001
Anne Ku

writes about her travels, conversations, thoughts, events, music, and anything else that is interesting enough to fill a web page.
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